Adore 2010: a call to be authentic Catholic men and women

When I think about the ADORE 2010 retreat that was co-sponsored by St. Joe’s and Holy Apostles last weekend, one specific thing stands out in my mind above all others, and that is a call to once again discover an authentic manhood and womanhood. This call flies in the face of modern feminism (which actually degrades women) and its desire to reduce masculinity to politely opening doors, well manicured finger nails, and impeccable manners. While I missed out on what was said during the women’s session talk (for obvious reasons) I was able to glean that one aspect of womanhood that was discussed was a woman’s mysteriousness. Now this isn’t some kind of bizarre cloak and dagger sort of mysteriousness, but rather a mysteriousness that accentuates a woman’s feminity. One specific example I can think of where mysteriousness might play a role is in modesty of dress. A woman of God does not live by the philosophy of “if you’ve got it flaunt it.” Rather she understands that flaunting attracts lust, not love; and that Prince Charming is not a man to be attracted to a girl who only knows how to flaunt her body. Instead Prince Charming should be the kind of man who wants to fall in love with a girl who has some degree of self confidence. A girl who dresses modestly to protect both her body and her heart from being taken advantage of. To me this is the kind of mystery a true woman of God possesses. A mystery that invites men to come and get to know the real woman, rather than trying to seduce them with purely external and physical appearances. As a culture our perception of what makes a woman beautiful has been distorted to encourage men to only look at this external aspect of femininity, completely neglecting her true womanhood. This is where our men’s session talk kicked the guys in the backside. We talked about how our society doesn’t really want a group of men who know how to love. Men who know how to love know how to sacrifice everything for their beloved. Men who know how to sacrifice everything also know how to stand up for their beloved. They know that true love means not being controlled by their passions and desires, but rather putting their passions and desires at the service of others. This is where things like pornography come into play. Pornography aims at keeping men acting like little boys. Little boys let their passions and desires rule their lives and determine their relationships. Just ask my son about chocolate milk and you will see someone easily manipulated by his physical passions. He doesn’t think, he just wants more and more. There will never be enough, until it makes him sick. Once he recovers he will want more again, until he learns the truth about chocolate milk making him sick when he drinks too much. Our society treats lust the same way. It encourages men and women to give in to lust rather than love because lust is easier and completely selfish. Pornography degrades women down to merely physical objects and tells men that this is ok to treat them as such rather than loving them. After the retreat I was reminded that every man can be a Prince Charming if he wants to, and every woman is a princess worthy of a Prince Charming. Let’s not settle for the lie anymore.